Dealing With Our Fear, Anxiety and Worry

We have all felt a form of fear at one time or another whether it is the heart-stopping, eye-popping, mouth-drying fear or the dread and worry of facing a tormenting obstacle.  Fear can stop us in our tracks.  Fear can siphon hope and confidence, keep us awake at night and fuel your anxiety all day.  Today, however, we are going to face our fears and address them.

Now what would be most helpful in facing our fears is to truly understand the nature of fear by breaking it down to the mechanics.  Nature has set up the brain for survival and has put fear at the top of the priority list.  When we are in jeopardy our survival-mode turns on and everything is directed to protect us.  All other thinking and feeling ceases and every system is stream-lined to assist us in tackling our dangerous situation.  We are on hyper-alert!  Now this would be very helpful in life-threatening situations but to have this alarm system going all day and all night has very negative consequences.  Think of it as a car alarm going off at the slightest gust of wind or never shutting off.

This is the fear most of us have in our modern world.  I am referring to the nagging and tormenting worry and anxiety that interferes with our ability to be happy, make decisions and embrace opportunities.  I like to call this our fear-mongering imagination.  This fear comes from negative or traumatic past experiences, low self-esteem, burn-out, losses, chronic exposure to negative media and not truly knowing who you are.  These fears need to be explored in order to conquer them.  We cannot ignore these fears because they will crop up automatically everyday whether we know it or not eventually robbing us of a joyful life.

The giant obstacles in your life may seem insurmountable and your weapons inadequate to conquer them.  You feel paralyzed and powerless to do anything about your situation leaving you in a state of endless worry and anxiety.  The best remedy for counteracting fear and worry is action.  Almost all worry evolves from the inability to make a decision or to act.  Fear fuels our negative self-defeating thoughts which keep us sitting on the fence and not doing anything.  We ponder the worse case scenarios which most of them are about our own insecurities.  We need to trust ourselves and believe we can handle the outcomes.  Our brains need to be conditioned that not everything is a threat to our survival and it needs to ease up.  When we are in fear-mode our creative thinking processes are stunted.  The solutions to our problems already lay within us but are blocked by fear.

Our anxiety stems from the sheer repetition of our negative thoughts.  They become established and manifest our way of living.  We have come to believe them and trust them even if they give us a life of misery.  We need to start with simple powerful messages and start identifying where these fears originated.  Make a timeline of your past years to see if you recognize an event or a pattern. Write down your negative self-thoughts and rewrite new positive ones.  Take a mini-challenge and pay attention and journal how you felt and what you experienced.  Understand that your false fears may be ruling you more than you thought and you need to stand in their presence to overcome them.

Planning is also helpful because we may not have everything we need at our disposal.  For the big tasks we may need to learn new skills and acquire learning and knowledge.  These are key in attaining any goals so break it down so it doesn’t become overwhelming and “scare” you off.  Knowledge is power so embrace it!  Plan strategies to calm yourself and defuse any fear that may be rising in you.  Develop a support system or connect with someone who provides you encouragement.  Most of all take care of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually to obtain confidence and self-worth.

Fear comes in many forms in our lives but in order to manage it appropriately we need to identify a true life-threatening situation or one of life’s hurdles.  Millions of people are suffering from their worries and anxieties diminishing their hope for happiness.  Counselling can also help in discovering new techniques and insights for dealing with a wide range of fears.  The more positive steps we take the more we can master our fears.

As I am a counselor who helps clients find solutions for their eating disorders and problematic-eating behaviors, I find most of these issues were initiated by fear, anxiety and worry. 

Treena Wynes, BSW, RSW

Author of Eating Ourselves Crazy

www.eatingourselvescrazy.com

How Our Fears Get In the Way of Our Dreams.

Have you ever talked yourself out of achieving a goal before you even finished the thought of ever achieving it?  Did it ever start something like this?  “I would really love to one day be a motivational speaker…but that’s dumb because I don’t have really anything exceptional to share with anyone and why would anyone have any interest in what I have to say?  I would just look stupid.”  And so it ends there. 

As a life coach and weight-loss counselor, I always find when working with clients that the first task is to overcome the negative self-image and remove the self negative talk.  Most of our challenges are actually our own illusion of our own mind.  We recoil due to fear.  However, we confuse real true fear with anxiety, worry and false fear that are based upon our memory of an undesirable event or incident.  We tend to give energy and power to this fear which takes energy and power away from our desires and wants. 

I am not trying to simplify fear but want to break it down in order for us to truly understand where it is coming from.  Many people may not be aware of it but fear is constantly ringing in our ears and weighing on our minds influencing our decisions.  Yes, there is the true threat of danger which your body and mind will automatically take over and protect you at all costs.  But let’s talk about fear in the way it threatens our self-esteem, the unhealthy fear.  We have this fabulous imagination; however, sometimes it likes to give us worse-case scenarios which we tend to believe.  An example is that you are looking for a life partner to share your life with but you don’t want to look or portray that you are desperate so you just stay in your comfortable surroundings at home and eat junk food all night. Instead of going out socializing or meeting new people, you sit at home unhappy and lonely.  Now it looks pretty clear here that the inaction is leading to some undesirable results.  It can even look clear to the person in that particular situation but fear of rejection and humiliation is very strong preventing him or her to take that leap.  This is the fear that keeps us stuck and unhappy.

I encourage you to write down your worse-case scenarios in moving forward with your goals and pick them apart. Is everything you imagined going endlessly wrong an accurate prediction?  Will you recover from the perceived trauma?  Now write down what you would do with your life if you did not feel the emotion of fear.  Now yes, there is the healthy fear but I am talking about the neurotic fear that keeps us down.  Remember that the lower your self-esteem, the easier you can be controlled and this is mostly because of our own thoughts and self-perceived fears.

My hope here is to help you realize that you and your false fears can be your biggest obstacles.  Yes, you may be met with challenges but they are necessary for growth and confidence-building.  I had my victories and I had my defeats but both are just as valuable in my growth and learning.  Explore and accept the fact we all have our doubts, worries and fears but don’t let them take charge of your life.  Do not kneel or bow to your false fears and let it take away the chance to a better life.

Please follow me on Facebook for more helpful tips, information and updates on how to upgrade your well-being and quality of life.

www.eatingourselvescrazy.com

Treena Wynes, BSW, RSW

How To Protect Your Brain Health

Less than 10 years ago it was commonly believed that Alzheimer’s disease would hit aging adults randomly.  New discoveries over the last couple years are showing that there are risk factors other than genetics that put people at risk.  Thanks to new research we are beginning to understand that dementia or Alzheimer’s is not a natural part of aging.

Dementia and Alzheimer’s is associated with brain health.  The brain requires essential nutrients, proteins and good fats just as the body does.  Consuming foods that are void of nutrients and high in sugar and hydrogenated fats are just as damaging to the brain as they are to the body.  Fatty foods cause plaque in the blood vessel walls, including the blood vessels in your brain.  A serious consequence of clogged arteries in the brain is a stroke or mini-stroke.  Every stroke, no matter how small, causes damage to the brain.  Therefore, maintaining a normal blood pressure and cholesterol level play a significant role in optimal brain health.

Another risk factor of Alzheimer’s Disease is Diabetes.  Diabetics have insulin issues or imbalances.  Insulin is strongly linked to memory recall and learning.  Insulin is a hormone and if levels are exhausted then memory becomes impaired.

Diabetics not following a low-glycemic diet with healthy fats and proteins are at high risk of developing dementia and Alzheimer’s.  Incorporating healthy fats and foods high in Omega 3 also reduce brain aging.  There are more preventative measures other than following a healthy eating plan.

Exercise

A sedentary lifestyle brings negative physical effects, however, it also is not good for your brain.  Physical activity is essential in enhancing good brain chemicals and increasing mental stimulation.  Researchers are finding the value of physical activity in warding off depression and dementia.  Being active such as golfing, bowling and walking boosts moods, soothes anxiety, quells negative feelings and protects the brain.

A Working Brain is a Happy Brain

Our brain is engineered for continual learning.  Brain cells and the brain messaging system will fizzle out and die if they are not being used.  The saying, “if you don’t use it, you lose it” rings true here.  Some good mental activities are jigsaw and crossword puzzles, sudoku , and solitare. If you can throw in a social element such as playing Scrabble with a friend, even better!  Socializing has many health benefits and gives one a sense of meaning and purpose.  Join clubs, volunteer groups or spiritual organizations to stay involved and active.

Protecting your brain from cognitive decline should be part of your health and wellness plan.  Delaying the onset of dementia through preventative strategies can enable one to live five to six years longer in an independent setting.  Seek out the new and encouraging research on how to protect yourself from brain-aging and memory loss.

Oxytocin: Use Your Love Hormone To Get Healthy

Make today the perfect time to pump up your love hormone levels to help you reduce cravings and ease stress. Oxytocin which is commonly dubbed the “love” hormone or “cuddle” hormone plays important roles in reproduction and relationships but also contains many benefits we can use to our advantage. Oxytocin is the hormone that gives us sexual arousal, form attachments, protect and breastfeed our young, and foster generosity and empathy. It is a good-mood hormone that feels good and promotes bonding and connecting.

As for physiological and psychological benefits it has many. Oxytocin, the good-mood hormone can counteract the negative consequences of the bad-mood hormone cortisol. Cortisol, the stress hormone, although has its importance in the hormonal system can put our physical and mental health at risk if levels are chronically elevated. Oxytocin has the ability to calm us down and reduce our blood pressure which will enable us to manage stress. This is helpful to those who turn to food or alcohol to relax, comfort and soothe raw or wired nerves after a tough day.

There are natural methods to induce oxytocin such as hugging, kissing, touching, talking with someone you care about. A ten-second hug while breathing deeply will instantly reduce your blood pressure. Even looking fondly at a picture of a loved one can bring on a flow of oxytocin. Oxytocin is not only for people who have partners or family members at their disposal. Social networking, playing with a pet, dancing and singing can also raise oxytocin levels. Volunteer work and donating to a charity close to your heart also assists producing oxytocin.

Religion and spirituality can also awaken mellow oxytocin levels by feeling grateful for all the blessings you have received. Feelings of gratefulness breeds happiness and well-being. Also connecting with a higher being brings forth feelings of purpose and meaning which generate good-mood chemicals. Rick Warren, a pastor of the Saddleback Church, devised a get-healthy plan with his congregation which has reached media attention and resulted in being featured on the Dr. Oz show. The community support and love of God and one another has created powerful benefits for the Saddleback members.

The benefits of oxytocin are being recognized so much that a nasal spray has been designed to instantly spike up levels. Oxytocin is being used for improved sleep, enhanced memory, stress-management, increased healing, pain relief and reducing blood pressure and cravings. We have the ability to naturally produce oxytocin for free so use it to your advantage and put more thought and love into your relationships so you can feel good, manage stress or lose weight.

How Guilt Can Be Counter-Productive Towards Your Weight-Loss Goals

So we've done it, we made weight-loss our New Year's resolution.    We've stated it to ourselves and advertised it to others hoping this will motivate us to stay on track.  Whether it is about eating healthier, joining a running class or spending more time with loved ones we from time to time struggle to meet our goals.  Guilt then pops its ugly head and shakes its finger at us expressing its disappointment in our actions (or lack of) making us hang our head in shame.

Guilt is actually a response from our subconscious which can be an important tool to life lessons, following code of behaviors, maintaining important relationships and keeping us out of jail.  But if your guilt has nothing to do with doing something illegal and immoral then it can become a self-afflicted and prosecuting emotion that causes anxiety, worry, on-going grief and low self-worth.  Guilt can be very unhealthy and paralyzing.

Guilt played a very significant role in my eating disorder and was always by my side.  It never stopped talking and always kept reminding me of what I should have and shouldn’t have done.  Guilt made me eat so I could dull its constant chattering and then guilt made me purge and on the cycle went. Guilt defined me.  It took a long time for me to recognize its power even though others could see it and would use it to manipulate me.  I used to be angry that my ex-husband used guilt to control me but as I matured in my thinking I realized guilt is what controlled me.

Guilt should not play the lead role in motivating you towards your goals especially weight-loss goals.  Guilt does not serve your best interests and can prevent you from moving forward.  If you have a gym membership that you haven’t used for a year and you keep paying on it, you need to cancel it.  Stop torturing yourself and wasting your money.  Accept and move on to find other means of physical activity that you may enjoy.

Life is about growth and change and not always about what we define as right and wrong.  We sometimes take two steps forward and one step back but we are still moving forward.  Also our intentions don’t always work out but we have the opportunity to learn from the situation and forgive ourselves.  Take the power away from guilt through forgiveness and empower yourself.

Treena Wynes, BSW, RSW

Author of Eating Ourselves Crazy

www.f4tw.com

"Maybe Santa, Skip The Cookies"

Santa Clause is no doubt one of the most loved big jolly old guy in the world.  When we see a big white-haired, white-bearded older man in a red suit we immediately think of Santa and it puts warm glow in our hearts.  Now if we saw this image of an older gentleman in the off-season, we would probably think that this big guy needs to think about taking off a bit of weight for the sake of his heart.  Although it may be rude to suggest that Santa is obese but it is hard to ignore he has a weight issue.   It is easy to see how this would come about with all the cookies and milk he consumes in one single night.  I see Type 2 Diabetes in the making.  A Diabetic not managing his diet is in serious risk of heart disease, Alzheimer’s and other forms of inflammation. I wonder when the last time he got his blood pressure checked as Christmas is a stressful season and with the extra weight he is carrying, I’m just saying. Another common feature of high-blood pressure is rosy cheeks which may also may be due to the cold winter wind but I think it would be wise to get it checked just in case.

Santa is not a very healthy image of a senior citizen.  Physically there are some concerns and they need to be addressed by the elves as they may be his potential care providers in the very near future.  He already needs help taking off his boots.  Also Mrs. Claus should explore some new healthy cookbooks and think about she and husband joining a walking club (give the reindeers a break) to ensure healthy aging.  I am confident in saying that hearing about Santa having heart issues or losing his ability due to chronic disease to continue his tradition of giving gifts would devastate the world.  Santa being so relied on to bring Christmas to children would also cause him some emotional distress if he could not carry out his duty Christmas Eve.  This would be a great loss to him putting him at risk of depression.

As much as Santa is the big jolly icon of Christmas, we want him to be around for a long, long time.  Would it be too much to ask of ourselves to write letters to Santa telling how much he is loved and how his health and quality of life mean to us as well.  It would only take a couple minutes of our time to save a very important person to us.  Also maybe skip putting out the cookies……

Managing Negative Emotions

Human beings are the most privileged species on Earth.  Our minds are not only more advanced but we are able to feel emotions. Human beings are emotional beings.  This may make some men or even women cringe as some presume that emotions make us weak, irrational or even out of control.  All human beings have emotions whether they display them or not. Emotions are a very important part of who we are as people.  They make us unique and exciting.  Emotions are part of our human experience.

Emotions help us connect with one another and become a social society.  They also help us with a deeper learning, as when we have a strong emotion around a certain experience we will never forget it and that memory will help us make decisions in the future.  Our subconscious stores these memories, good or bad, and calls upon them when a similar situation stands before us.  Emotions play a significant role in how we respond to an experience or to one another.

There are negative and positive emotions and most of us would prefer to experience only positive emotions as they give us feelings of pleasure, satisfaction, joy, comfort and self confidence.  Negative emotions have their place in this world as it creates change, growth, progress and even self-confidence.  Most people try to avoid, deny or suppress negative emotions rather than acknowledge or "feel" them.  Much of our suffering is due to negative emotions not being dealt with called "emotional baggage". The trick is managing these emotions is to finding appropriate ways to release these intense emotions and then understanding the lessons behind them.  By accepting your anger, sadness and embarrassment as the human part of yourself, you can bring about a closer understanding of your true self. 

Negative thoughts have a tendency to distort our feelings.  There is a strong relationship between thoughts and feelings as thoughts drive our feelings.  Negative thoughts drain our emotional energy and motivation, therefore causing dissatisfaction in our lives.  An example would be unnecessarily worrying about a situation that will keep you up all night causing you to be exhausted the next day. The excessive worrying about unrealistic matter resulted in feeling crummy and tired putting us at risk of making poor choices.

Our behaviors are a direct result of our thoughts and feelings and if we want to change our behavior we need to change our way of thinking first.  We need to move from our regular thought patterns in order to develop new possibilities.  To accomplish new feelings and behaviors it is important to know what messages your subconscious is holding.  If they are not beneficial to your new goals, then you need to work hard at replacing them with practical and constructive ones.

Positive thinking is widely recognized and popular today as it is the key to a positive and fulfilling life.  Positive thinking promotes positive feelings that provide high energy and a bright outlook.  Fuelling good moods with ongoing positive thoughts encourages us to act how we feel.  Our actions and behaviors will bring forth our circumstances.  As in The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, the saying “thoughts become things” rings true.  We can manifest many things into our lives by how we think.  The objective is to manage your emotions by purging unproductive thinking and replacing them with intentional positive thoughts to bring forth a more rewarding life.


Treena Wynes, BSW, RSW
Author of Eating Ourselves Crazy
www.f4tw.com