We have all felt a
form of fear at one time or another whether it is the heart-stopping,
eye-popping, mouth-drying fear or the dread and worry of facing a tormenting
obstacle. Fear can stop us in our
tracks. Fear can siphon hope and
confidence, keep us awake at night and fuel your anxiety all day. Today, however, we are going to face our
fears and address them.
Now what would be
most helpful in facing our fears is to truly understand the nature of fear by
breaking it down to the mechanics.
Nature has set up the brain for survival and has put fear at the top of
the priority list. When we are in
jeopardy our survival-mode turns on and everything is directed to protect us. All other thinking and feeling ceases and every
system is stream-lined to assist us in tackling our dangerous situation. We are on hyper-alert! Now this would be very helpful in
life-threatening situations but to have this alarm system going all day and all
night has very negative consequences. Think
of it as a car alarm going off at the slightest gust of wind or never shutting
off.
This is the fear most
of us have in our modern world. I am
referring to the nagging and tormenting worry and anxiety that interferes with
our ability to be happy, make decisions and embrace opportunities. I like to call this our fear-mongering
imagination. This fear comes from
negative or traumatic past experiences, low self-esteem, burn-out, losses,
chronic exposure to negative media and not truly knowing who you are. These fears need to be explored in order to
conquer them. We cannot ignore these
fears because they will crop up automatically everyday whether we know it or
not eventually robbing us of a joyful life.
The giant obstacles
in your life may seem insurmountable and your weapons inadequate to conquer
them. You feel paralyzed and powerless
to do anything about your situation leaving you in a state of endless worry and
anxiety. The best remedy for
counteracting fear and worry is action.
Almost all worry evolves from the inability to make a decision or to act. Fear fuels our negative self-defeating
thoughts which keep us sitting on the fence and not doing anything. We ponder the worse case scenarios which most
of them are about our own insecurities.
We need to trust ourselves and believe we can handle the outcomes. Our brains need to be conditioned that not
everything is a threat to our survival and it needs to ease up. When we are in fear-mode our creative
thinking processes are stunted. The solutions
to our problems already lay within us but are blocked by fear.
Our anxiety stems
from the sheer repetition of our negative thoughts. They become established and manifest our way
of living. We have come to believe them
and trust them even if they give us a life of misery. We need to start with simple powerful
messages and start identifying where these fears originated. Make a timeline of your past years to see if
you recognize an event or a pattern. Write down your negative self-thoughts and
rewrite new positive ones. Take a
mini-challenge and pay attention and journal how you felt and what you experienced. Understand that your false fears may be
ruling you more than you thought and you need to stand in their presence to
overcome them.
Planning is also
helpful because we may not have everything we need at our disposal. For the big tasks we may need to learn new skills
and acquire learning and knowledge. These
are key in attaining any goals so break it down so it doesn’t become overwhelming
and “scare” you off. Knowledge is power
so embrace it! Plan strategies to calm
yourself and defuse any fear that may be rising in you. Develop a support system or connect with
someone who provides you encouragement.
Most of all take care of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally and
spiritually to obtain confidence and self-worth.
Fear comes in many
forms in our lives but in order to manage it appropriately we need to identify
a true life-threatening situation or one of life’s hurdles. Millions of people are suffering from their
worries and anxieties diminishing their hope for happiness. Counselling can also help in discovering new
techniques and insights for dealing with a wide range of fears. The more positive steps we take the more we
can master our fears.
As I am a counselor
who helps clients find solutions for their eating disorders and
problematic-eating behaviors, I find most of these issues were initiated by fear,
anxiety and worry.
Treena Wynes, BSW,
RSW
Author of Eating
Ourselves Crazy
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